There are always the people in our lives that can be the heroes in many ways, but my life’s hero will always be my mom. She influences my life since I born until now and also sacrifice a lot in her lifetime to make my life and my sibling’s lives better. She love us unconditionally, I have become the person I am today because of her. I adore her very much, not just because she is my mom, also such an amazing person with a gold heart, my best friend for life, an advisor, kind, respectful and strong person.
I am not her only children, I have a big sister and a little brother but I am my mom’s favorite children. My mom taught me how to be kind and loving but not to allow others to take my kindness for weakness, also to dream big and work hard to make those dreams a reality. Her life inspires me with confidence and great motivation on the road to success. Most of my mother’s life is full of misfortunes and unexpected troubles. She lost her parents when she was 5 years old and has been raised with her aunt, she went through a lot I her childhood.
However, the way that she faces with them resiliently and strongly makes her really become a hero of my life. I found that I am her favorite kid, when I was 5 old years, I begged her to take me to my Godmother, then she said; “No, I don’t have time to take you there”. I didn’t like her answer at all, and the next day I went to school, it was Friday but I didn’t come back home. I told my Godmother’s sister, who was 15 old years that my mom told me to go with you after class and to spend the weekend to your house.
She could not think twice and she said, “No problem, I will take you with me after class then”. She took me with her and when our maid came to take me home after class, she could not find me. She went back home crying because she was scary and called my mom’s office to let her know what happened. My mom could not imagine that her daughter missing and she started crying and saying how she can’t live without me and took a day off right away and called for help from family members, friends and neighbors but nobody could find me, because my godmother never cross her mind that time.
The worse part of her daughter been missing, my dad was out of country for job mission. The next day, my uncle announced me through the radio and my godmother that moment she was listening to a radio and found out that I lied to her sister and she took me back to my house. Seeing my mom crying was a pain for me, I cried deeply and apologized. She smiled at me and told me, I forgive you but do not do that again. She has a kindly heart to tolerate my mistakes, and she gives me endless love but asks for nothing in return.
When I won the lottery (The green card)to come in United of states, I told my sister that I don’t want to leave my country because I don’t see myself living far from where my mom live. My sister told her, but I did not know that she did. That day I went to my friend’s house party and my mom came to pick me up. When mom was driving home, she saw me look incredibly down; I couldn’t imagine leaving everybody and everything, to me that was difficulty solution to make.
She smiled at me and she said, “Tomorrow depends on what you are doing today” I pretended to be fine, and I said: I am ok, and she said: “It is a good opportunity for you, stop thinking a lot about leaving us. Everything is going to be alright. I promise! Once you get there just focus on school more than anything else and stay mom’s favorite daughter” she encouraged me to be strong and to let God guide you. ” That was amazing advices I got from her and when I feel down, her strength and power inspire me to overcome difficulties. I have promise myself to become a strong successful person as my mother wish.
My biggest weakness is how hard I am on myself. I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. I think if I'm not doing everything in my power to succeed right at that moment, then I'm not using my time wisely. I'm always thinking about the future and what my next move is. And if I don't feel like I'm doing enough to be impressive or successful, I feel really bad about myself.
I put too much pressure on myself to look impressive and to look successful. I need to appear driven, balanced and determined at all times. I don't even allow myself to consider what makes me happy. In the last six months, I've pushed myself farther than I should have. I took on way too many responsibilities, and I felt miserable at all times. I didn't even do a good job of balancing them. I felt like if I wasn't pushing myself to get experience and improve my resume, I wasn't allowed to feel proud of myself. I never just allow my accomplishments are "enough". Although a healthy amount of drive is good, there is a line, and I tend to cross it.
I've recently let go of a lot of responsibilities, and I've begun to do the things that make me happy, rather than the things that make me look impressive. Trying to conform to what I believe society deems "successful" is exhausting and unhealthy. I have a lot more free time now than I've had in over a year, and it feels scary and exciting.
I've taken a lot of pressure off myself, and even though I have those negative thoughts telling me I'm not doing enough to feel good about myself, I have never felt more content and balanced with my life.
I used to believe success was a linear progression. I used to think there were certain steps to take to get where you're going until you finally arrive. But success and life are nothing like that. There are high's and low's and plateau's all the time. Some chapters in our life are meant to end, and that's OK. Some things that used to be good for us can no longer be good for us, and that's OK. We can change our minds, we can change our direction, and we can change our goals. There is one pathway to a successful life, and I need to learn to take my own path and not the one I believe society expects me to take.
I'm currently in a transitional period of where I don't know where I'm going and exactly what I want, and I'm trying to find joy and excitement at this stage. I want to live life in the present, and I want to be happy to be where I am right now. Although goals and a drive to succeed are important, it's just as important to be happy in the present and content with what we have now. I know that one day I'll figure out all the things that confuse me right now, and I'm doing great where I am right now.